The Fourth Trimester: Supporting your Surrogate
The fourth trimester is the three months immediately following baby’s birth and SO much happens during this time. It is a wonderful time for intended parents and is often a very different experience than for parents who birth their own children. As an intended parent, I felt elated, physically strong and energised, enabling me to tackle the sleepless nights and meet the needs of my newborn daughter. But what about a surrogate; how does she feel during this period? Often, surrogates have children at home who need her attention and without a baby-in-tow, they may easily forget the physical and emotional marathon that their mother has just experienced as a surrogate). Her milk still comes in (unless medication is administered after birth to prevent it from doing so), her hormone levels go up and down, the baby blues set in (also very normal, and not to be confused with the surrogate wanting to keep the baby). She is also at risk of any post pregnancy complications. I encourage all my surrogacy teams to plan for the fourth trimester, which helps to ensure that the surrogate is well-supported during this time.
To adequately support your surrogate, the fourth-trimester plan should include:
How much time she would like to spend with baby after birth. This is particularly important for interstate arrangements. I encourage teams who travel interstate for baby’s birth, to stay in the same town as the surrogate for a few weeks post birth to enable the surrogate the opportunity to transition.
Assisting with meal preparation for her and her family (i.e. fill up the fridge and freezer).
Childcare arrangements for her children so that she has time to recover (the cost of child-care during this period is a reimbursable expense and can be covered by intended parents).
Organising her postnatal medical check-ups.
Arranging relinquishment counselling for the surrogate and her partner if required (or if they would like it). It is a good idea to book this in prior to baby’s due date to avoid any delays in obtaining an appointment after birth.
Arranging any alternative therapies to assist with recovery (physiotherapy, osteopathy, acupuncture, naturopathy).
Nicole Russell is a specialist surrogacy and fertility lawyer advising heterosexual and LGBTIQ+ individuals and couples to achieve their dreams of becoming parents. Nicole provides specialist legal advice on all aspects of Australian and international surrogacy arrangements and fertility legal issues including the use and transport of donor gametes. Nicole is based in Melbourne and acts for clients in all Australian states and territories. Nicole is an IVF warrior and a mum through surrogacy in Australia.